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Showing posts from August, 2019

Coastal Delaware Running Festival Marathon, 4/19/20: REGISTERED!

This will be my first marathon in 5 years - last one was the 2015 Trap Pond, Delaware Marathon. Me getting medal after Trap Pond marathon. I know Race Day is a little ways from now.  But just like all the others, they always get here before you know it. I trained for the 2015 marathon through the winter.  Was a lot of snow that year and I'm expecting the same this time too.  Apparently people around here shy away from running outside in the winter.  When I had visited a running store in Haddonfield to ask about local running clubs, I was told that people mainly run during the summer. Well I don't.  Just about the only things that stop me are lightning or when the path is completely iced or snowed over.  And that's very rare.  I logged many miles around the Schuylkill River Trail and Cooper River Park.  They usually clear the path pretty quickly. Sub-zero temperatures don't scare me off either.  I still remember one of my 15-milers around the  Schuy

Letter

if only i could write a letter to my six year old self... hey you i have something to tell you about your relatives* the ones that act so happy to see you now ask about everything going on with you asking how school is going asking about the piano later on it'll be saxophone horseback riding cross-country army parachuting college law school this might sound crazy to you now but they are not what they seem in a few years a movie will come out called the labyrinth it will help you understand you need to treat these people like sarah treats the goblin king say to them "you have no power over me" because if you don't it will be so much harder later on they will smile to your face make you believe they're family when in reality they're just like that goblin king just want to control you then laugh at you then abandon you when they've used you up when you no longer suit their purposes mock everything about you including everything you love insult your husband

Normal

come on children gather round and listen to this speech before you go out in this big ole world there's something i must teach seek fame and fortune i hope luck springs eternal but in everything you do and become remember you must be normal! keep your voice low don't stick your neck out go with the flow it will surely build your clout! flatter and fawn before the boss and never fail to smile cuz depression, sadness, "mental health" is just a load of bile! because if you should happen to be blue there's only one person to blame to seek the culprit look no further than the mirror - you're one and the same! it's your fault for not rising above don't you forget it because happiness is a choice and that's all there is to it! remember normal hates different especially things it fears "nothing is to be feared, it is only to be understood" shut up marie curie, you're just weird so get your butt in line and follow the status quo normal is go

Older

a man still a bit young but yet so old clings desperately to his routine regiments his time so strictly down to the second it seems his circle of friends once so diverse from every corner of the socioeconomic arena what would happen if you couldn't control every second? if everyone around you wasn't just like you? didn't have as much money as you? didn't all believe the same thing as you? would life be too scary then i remember that life we wandered the streets of new york traipsing from a rocky event to the diner asking passersby where a friend was whose build you couldn't miss you were there when the ex-boyfriend taunted me til i could take no more and i laid him flat on his arse you were one of my family you knelt next to me in the subway and comforted me now your life must be predictable controlled on YOUR terms no thanks i don't need your scraps i grow older like you but even if they never come i will let people in be there if they want me the word widow/

For Jim's Birthday, July 16, 2019

By Dcrjsr (talk · contribs) - Own work, CC BY 3.0 This morning Jim opened his eyes.   He felt a new lightness inside.   “What’s different?” thought Jim. He moved his hands.   He could flex and unflex them easily now.   He looked down at his legs.   They looked strong, the way they used to. “Could I really get up?!” Jim thought excitedly. He looked around him for the first time. “Where am I?” Jim wondered aloud. He was in a beautifully carved wooden bed, in a field of brilliant lupines.   He saw an emerald field all around him that sloped down to meet rushing water.   Beyond the water he saw a great abyss, from which many other mountains rose. “Could I be in Heaven?” Jim wondered. “Yes, you are, my son,” the LORD replied. “I made it to heaven?” Jim asked. “Really?” “Yes of course,” replied the LORD. “You always had a kind heart.   You always shared that kindness with others, including the least of my children. You loved your wife and son with unconditiona

August 27, 2019

i wake up.  it's an empty room.  turn compulsively to the phone again.  desperate for those empty shots of dopamine that amount to nothing. i start another day of trying.  i commit my life to God but all i feel is the devil. i've lost count of how many times, in the last 2+ years, i've come up with a new plan to arrive at the new me.  the me i deserve.  the me to live my best life.  i join the gym.  i love it.  i can't remember when i've felt so pumped up.  this is the perfect track to my dream life. but still the darkness, the silence settles back in all around me.  the hunger that cannot be satiated.  the yawning void inside me that screams out for more but that is never filled. there was a time where the phone was not just a mindless device.  it was actually an instrument for communication.  the phone used to ring with calls from people, with whom they would enrich my life, i would enrich theirs.  i still remember the miami nights filled with gaity.  the

The book I will be writing about gun violence.

I struggle to know what words to use to describe what is going on in this country.  Gun control, gun violence, mass shootings.  These words have been emasculated.  Hearing them ideally would spur everyone into action to put a stop to the living nightmares that happen every day, that we cannot wake up from. Obviously, the title of what I write is important.  No one wants to be beaten over the head yet again with words that have been stripped of their meaning.  What has been the prevailing response so far?  "Thoughts and prayers" (more words that have been stripped meaningless, and that serve more as an insult, a taunting reminder that in most cases, this is the extent of the action that will be taken in response to the people, lives that were lost).  Cling tight to our loved ones, hunker down.  Buy more guns.  Do many of the things Alan Jackson sang about in "Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning." I am practical and my books reflect that.  One thing that