Sunday, August 13, 2017

By João Pimentel Ferreira via Wikimedia Commons

Well I was able to get back to my writing project which I started almost two years ago. I have to be vague about the details right now - I feel like the finished product could be so good that I don't want to spoil the surprise. I have my son Carl to thank for much of the concept.

It's something that I need to finish. For me. Many things that would never be said otherwise. Many conversations that need to be had. Even if only in bookland. I know these things will most likely never be said in real life. All I need is for them to have been said on paper, either real or virtual..I have been mourning certain things. And I know that to complete my mourning process, this book needs to be written. It's been several years in the works already. It's not something I can rush. But I do need to finish and move on with my life.

I've been sick and bedridden all weekend long. I was too weak even to type. But then I thought to try using the microphone. Eventually I was able to transcribe all of my written content I've captured in a little notebook over several months.

I had a dream about my grandmother a few nights ago. After 12 years I finally heard her voice again. She was talking to me over the phone. She would have loved Carl so much...

I turn 42 next month - and no I don't mind saying that now. I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past year is to look at the real reasons I do things. I see how sometimes I do the right things but for the wrong reasons. Sometimes I need to stop and think - "Am I doing this because I truly believe this is right? Because this is the best thing for me?"

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