Day 23 - Beck Diet Solution, Counter The Unfairness System

“We are conditioned to look for justice in life and when it doesn’t appear, we tend to feel anger, anxiety or frustration. Actually, it would be equally productive to search for the fountain of youth, or some such myth. Justice does not exist. It never has, and it never will. The world is simply not put together that way. Robins eat worms. That’s not fair to the worms…You have only to look at nature to realize that there is no justice in the world. Tornadoes, floods, tidal waves, droughts are all unfair.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones (New York: Avon Books, 1977), p. 173.

Yet many of us did grow up expecting, to some extent, that life should be fair and these beliefs can’t be unlearned overnight. To help counter the unfairness syndrome, BDS focuses here today and gives us some things to think about when we’re bemoaning how unfair it is that we can’t eat whatever we want:

1. Go back to your why’s. At least one fair aspect of being human is that we have free will, and most likely we have freely chosen to lose weight. We could just as freely choose to stop and eat whatever we want for the rest of our lives. But do we want to be the weight that comes with that? Or do we want to stick with our weight loss steps? The choice is up to us.

2. How many advantages do you have that other people don’t? Maybe you have an abundance of friends and family, pets, special talent, money, the freedom to organize your day however you’d like, a beautiful garden, house, and so on. Now think about all those people in the world who don’t have what you have. It’s unfair they don’t have all the wonderful things you do – but life is not fair.

3. Create a Response Card. Write down a few helpful responses to the STs of unfairness and pull it out whenever thoughts of unfairness tempt you to eat.

Another thing to remember – the “fair” way we were eating before, that caused us to gain weight, wasn’t normal and healthy. Wouldn’t it be much more fair to ourselves to eat in a healthful way, lose weight and reach our goals?

Comments

Pariah

so burnt out looking to socialize i take a few sips of the libation my senses heighten i just listen to the sounds of the room frenetic chatter all around me right next to me within inches of me the drink feels like my only friend that's how i know i'm going into a dark tunnel triggering all the worst in me people jabbering on like robots not talking to let people in but to keep people out like me how different this is from the days i wandered through Demarest Hall at Rutgers vibrations all around were pulling me in urging me to make merry with them with no alcohol in sight just love proliferating.... everyone was welcome everyone was celebrated and then there was tonight the chattering all around me me just sitting there invisible i tried to reach out tried to connect tried to feel like it felt when there was no barrier just acceptance no judgment but they turned away back to the safety of their own whatever that means so i put a stop to it i put my drink on the bar i walked...

Day 22 - Beck Diet Solution, Say “Oh Well” To Disappointment

Inigo Montoya: Who are you? Man in Black: No one of consequence. Inigo Montoya: I must know... Man in Black: Get used to disappointment. Inigo Montoya: 'kay. The Princess Bride (20th Century Fox 1987) Just as Inigo shrugs off the disappointment of the Man in Black’s declining to reveal his identity and gets right back into the duel, so too must we shrug off those discouragements that go hand-in-hand with losing weight and keep truckin’ down the weight loss trail. It’ll go easier for us if we do. What if we just lay around bellyaching about how horrible it is that we can’t have that donut, can’t eat/drink exactly what everybody else does at parties, can’t just open the fridge and eat whenever we felt like it? How much would we really accomplish that way? Even if we do stick to our plans for a little while under that mindset, we’d be fighting an exhausting battle with ourselves every day and eventually give in. Even the patience an...

Day 18 - Beck Diet Solution, Change Your Definition of Full

Sacha Chua via Flickr Naturally-thin people are usually good at the skill of eating to the point of normal fullness. In general, this means being just as able to take a brisk walk after a meal as before the meal. Eating past fullness doesn’t feel normal to thin people – it feels uncomfortable to them, says BDS. But for people with weight problems, this overfull sensation may actually feel normal for a number of reasons – wanting to prolong the eating experience, taking advantage of food being around, wanting to load up to avoid being hungry between meals, and so on. If you’re worried about getting hungry before your next meal, just remember what we’ve learned about hunger – that it’s never an emergency and that we can withstand the sensations. We have plenty of distractions and anti-craving techniques at our disposal to deal with cravings as well. If you’re triggered to eat more because there’s food sitting around, like at a dinner or party, you c...

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