Endless Summer Creations

Sometimes the question is not "Why do I want to accomplish this goal"?  Sometimes it's more like "Why shouldn't I just do whatever I feel like doing? Why do I want to bother myself with goals when I could just be relaxing instead?" You might then ask yourself, if I forget the goal what do I miss out on?  Am I ok with that?  Will I have regrets one day?  Which will cause me more stress - abandoning the goal or following through on it? What will my life look like next week, next month, next year if I do/don't accomplish the goal?  Sometimes when it's the desire for accomplishment that falters, it's the fear of loss that keeps you going. 

If "If I were an older man and met a younger woman I would have just wanted to be her friend I wouldn't have wanted to ruin her life" a haze of shock confusion and hurt descended upon her had it all been a mistake when they first met he even told her she should dance with the younger guys and because she didn't her life was ruined? if she danced with him night after night if his kindness washed over her in healing waves if he told her she wasn't crazy if he told her there was nothing wrong with her if she knew he would never leave her side if he called her out for being the jackass she was when she talked about giving up throwing all her dreams away believing the lies if he fulfilled every last vow if he should have been long gone but never quit her if he could always crack her up if that wacky humor still lived on through the Parkinson's if she knew the disease might take his body but never touch his love that none other could ever match if that's a rui...

Right now my son and I are reading Pax by Sara Pennypacker.  The chapter we read last night got me to thinking, how the character Vola says she didn't remember one single true thing about herself after she had left the military, after going to war and then coming out as a civilian. Has that ever happened to you?  Where you just lost yourself, forgotten when your core values are?  I have.  I've been in the military too but that's not where mine were really waylaid.  That didn't come until much later. Whenever I feel like I've forgotten what my core values are, I think back to my 16-year old self first.  After that would be my college self, where I began to come into my own and make choices as an adult for the first time.  I'm then refreshed as to my core truths, when I am my honest self - some of which are: 1) If you can't count on family and know they will always have your back, that's not a family. 2) So-called "love"...