Skip to main content

Day 29 - Beck Diet Solution, Resist Food Pushers


Today we work on special challenges that we might face, created by different environments and people.  In the comfort of our own home, we might have a lot more control over what we eat and it might be easier to follow our plan steps, but life will constantly throw us curveballs, and one comes in the form of food pushers.

Yes, there will always be people who push food on you.  It might be someone who just once says casually if you’d like some of the brownies they brought in to the office, or the more persistent pushers, like some family members who insist you just must pile your plate high, or some person who acts like they wouldn’t hear of you not having some cake on their birthday.

But before you cave to other people’s demands that you eat their food, consider these two BDSisms:

·       “You’re entitled to work toward your goal of losing weight as long as you’re not maliciously trying to make someone feel bad.
·       It’s okay to disappoint others.  Disappointment is a normal part of life.  Their disappointment most likely will be mild and fleeting.”

Beck, Judith S. The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think like a Thin Person. Oxmoor House, 2008.

If you still have a hard time with the idea of disappointing people when they offer you food, recognize that a sabotaging thought is behind this – “Other people’s desire to have me eat their food is more important than my weight loss goals.”  In talking back to this ST, consider the benefits and detriments to you and the other party if you eat the food.  If you eat the food, the benefit to the other person is small and fleeting while the detriment to you in going off your plan could be significant.  If you don’t eat the food, the other person’s detriment and disappointment (if any) will probably be small and fleeting while the benefit to you is huge: you’ve just stood up yourself and your goals and strengthened your resistance muscle.  Make a cost-analysis chart, where in two columns you list all the costs to you and the other person if you do eat the food.

Also role-play the food pusher exchange in your mind (or you could practice with a friend or your diet coach).  Plan out exactly what you’ll say.  If it’s a particularly extreme food pusher, imagine how one of your role models would respond – maybe persistently and politely continuing to say no, that you couldn’t possibly eat another bite, that while you won’t be having any it does look divine, praise the other person on all the hard work they put in making it, etc.

No food pusher’s desire for you to eat their food is more important than your own needs.  Stand up for yourself and your needs to be healthy and happy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pariah

so burnt out looking to socialize i take a few sips of the libation my senses heighten i just listen to the sounds of the room frenetic chatter all around me right next to me within inches of me the drink feels like my only friend that's how i know i'm going into a dark tunnel triggering all the worst in me people jabbering on like robots not talking to let people in but to keep people out like me how different this is from the days i wandered through Demarest Hall at Rutgers vibrations all around were pulling me in urging me to make merry with them with no alcohol in sight just love proliferating.... everyone was welcome everyone was celebrated and then there was tonight the chattering all around me me just sitting there invisible i tried to reach out tried to connect tried to feel like it felt when there was no barrier just acceptance no judgment but they turned away back to the safety of their own whatever that means so i put a stop to it i put my drink on the bar i walked...

Day 22 - Beck Diet Solution, Say “Oh Well” To Disappointment

Inigo Montoya: Who are you? Man in Black: No one of consequence. Inigo Montoya: I must know... Man in Black: Get used  to disappointment. Inigo Montoya: 'kay. The Princess Bride (20th Century Fox 1987) Just as Inigo shrugs off the disappointment of the Man in Black’s declining to reveal his identity and gets right back into the duel, so too must we shrug off those discouragements that go hand-in-hand with losing weight and keep truckin’ down the weight loss trail.   It’ll go easier for us if we do.  What if we just lay around bellyaching about how horrible it is that we can’t have that donut, can’t eat/drink exactly what everybody else does at parties, can’t just open the fridge and eat whenever we felt like it?  How much would we really accomplish that way?  Even if we do stick to our plans for a little while under that mindset, we’d be fighting an exhausting battle with ourselves every day and eventually give in.  Even the patience an...

Day 18 - Beck Diet Solution, Change Your Definition of Full

Sacha Chua via Flickr Naturally-thin people are usually good at the skill of eating to the point of normal fullness.  In general, this means being just as able to take a brisk walk after a meal as before the meal.  Eating past fullness doesn’t feel normal to thin people – it feels uncomfortable to them, says BDS.  But for people with weight problems, this overfull sensation may actually feel normal for a number of reasons – wanting to prolong the eating experience, taking advantage of food being around, wanting to load up to avoid being hungry between meals, and so on. If you’re worried about getting hungry before your next meal, just remember what we’ve learned about hunger – that it’s never an emergency and that we can withstand the sensations.  We have plenty of distractions and anti-craving techniques at our disposal to deal with cravings as well.  If you’re triggered to eat more because there’s food sitting around, like at a dinner or party, you c...