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birthday gift

MaKaSyAu [CC BY-SA 4.0
(https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)
dear jimmy
my birthday's coming
first one without
you there
since 2001
we always had fun
didn't we
except maybe
that one
where work friends
came over
and somebody did
eminem on karaoke
and you hid
in the other room
but you gave me
so many enduring gifts
especially the final one
though i didn't know it
at the time
now
for the first time
in many years
i have no plans
for this day
for so long
it was automatic
that the three of us
would be together
but now
you're in Heaven
and i'm fumbling
along
feeling for each step
so this day
always with obligatory significance
takes on a different meaning
the things i always did
so compulsively
i draw a line now
i don't understand
this grief jimmy
first i think i've
got a handle on it
then it's clear i don't
but through this pain
i see your greatest gift
glistening like
a diamond in the rain
your best birthday gift yet
now and for all to come...

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