Endless Summer Creations

There were so many days where Jane was at the top of the world.   The day she hit the solo perfectly in the band competition junior year, down in Myrtle Beach.  One of the cool girls came up to Jane afterwards and said "Way to have grace under pressure!" The day she found out she made the varsity team on cross-country, after lagging behind the pack for so long... Many days at the summer camp, where she was enveloped in hugs, where she heard the sound of her bassoon blending perfectly with the woodwind quintet, when she sat in the CIT lounge with Mike, holding his hand and feeling new tingles all through her body... The night when she snuck the car to drive over fifty miles to see one of Mike's school concerts, then before he left his lips touched hers for the first time, setting her afire... Many days and nights where she roamed the college campus with friends, never having known a full social life before - constant knocks on door, phone ringing, girl...

My son and I had read the first three Harry Potter books together a few years ago.  I had also seen the first two movies in theaters.  2001 was a watershed year for me, containing many significant events in my life.  My then-fiancé Jim and I went to see the first Harry Potter together, five years before our son would be born.  Jim was also excited about the soon-to-be released Lord of the Rings movie - he had read the books 12 times.  He said the books were assigned for school, which he wasn't too happy about at first, but then he really got into them. After seeing the first two movies though, I shied away from the Harry Potter series.  I could tell from the parade of headlines, previews, and news snippets I caught here and there that the story was getting more complex, grim and violent, which didn't appeal to me.  In 2011 however, just before the release of the final movie, we had a membership to Universal Studio/Islands of Adventure and frequente...

Today I made these salmon cakes from the South Beach Diet Cookbook.  They went great on top some salad greens!    

The beginning of the first fall we have seen in four years. This time of year also makes me think of Joni Mitchell's song, "Urge for Going": I awoke today and found the frost perched on the town It hovered in a frozen sky, then it gobbled summer down When the sun turns traitor cold And all trees are shivering in a naked row I get the urge for going but I never seem to go I get the urge for going When the meadow grass is turning brown Summertime is falling down and winter is closing in I had me a man in summertime He had summer-colored skin And not another girl in town My darling's heart could win But when the leaves fell on the ground And bully winds came around pushed them face down in the snow He got the urge for going and I had to let him go He got the urge for going When the meadow grass was turning brown And summertime was falling down and winter was closing in Now the warriors of winter they gave a cold triumphant shout And all that s...

Tom Harpel - CC BY 2.0,  https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1773720 We walked back to the World Center, because I'd said I wanted to go to the top. Ed wanted to sing songs about flying when we got to the top.  When we got in we found out, to our shock, that it was $8/head. However, we shelled it out. We waited in the rollercoaster-long line to go up.   Once we got there, I was very impressed with the height and also by having the vast view beneath me be intelligible, and not some meaningless jumble of buildings, streets and rivers.  We looked first over the Bronx, Coney Island and out to the ocean. Then we sat for a long time looking uptown. That was where we saw the most to recognize. Ed pointed out the arch of Washington Square Park. Ed was kind of my own personal guide of the view.   Then, after being hypnotized by the view for a long time, it occurred to us to go up to the roof. That is what we did. I was amazed by what we found...

the summer colors heady golden scented air smell of mint I could almost taste trees that never lived in my foreign land the lily pads that always beckoned to me others that look suspended in midair the wondrous rushing waterfall sensuous mess of wildflowers sunflowers at their yellow cadenza we met before you ran away to scurry ahead of the cold though I came from a land of perpetual summer never was there one like this                

MaKaSyAu [CC BY-SA 4.0 ( https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0 ) dear jimmy my birthday's coming first one without you there since 2001 we always had fun didn't we except maybe that one where work friends came over and somebody did eminem on karaoke and you hid in the other room but you gave me so many enduring gifts especially the final one though i didn't know it at the time now for the first time in many years i have no plans for this day for so long it was automatic that the three of us would be together but now you're in Heaven and i'm fumbling along feeling for each step so this day always with obligatory significance takes on a different meaning the things i always did so compulsively i draw a line now i don't understand this grief jimmy first i think i've got a handle on it then it's clear i don't but through this pain i see your greatest gift glistening like a diamond in the rain ...

 For a long time I have felt that we are in a situation akin to the ten plagues of Egypt when it comes to gun violence in America.  Incidentally, my son and I are reading the Bible together and tonight we read Exodus 11.  God has commanded Moses and Aaron to go before Pharaoh and ask that the Israelites be set free.  God knows that Pharaoh will refuse because it is God Himself who hardens Pharaoh's heart.  But each time Pharaoh refuses, God conveys powers through Moses and Aaron to effect horrible plagues upon Egypt.  With each one Pharaoh momentarily says he will lets the Israelites go if only God will stop the plague.  But then he reneges on his promise and reverts to his hardened heart, just as God knows he will do.   "And there was a Cry in Egypt" Arthur Hacker   But with the tenth, most punishing plague of all, God decrees that the firstborn son of all Egyptians will die.  It is only with this plague that Pharaoh fina...

so hard to push through the disgust desperate need for approval hate looking at myself in the mirror asking myself why why did you let yourself get like this i remember when it started slipping out of my grasp the reasons were just not there anymore i wanted things so badly but no matter what i did i couldn't get them always starving for approval i lie here at night i fantasize about illusions of being accepted having friends having those social circles again if only i become thin enough when i'll have something to offer again always trying to sell myself but i'm almost 44 everyone has their own lives our society has fractured off everyone has their own sects tribes cliques maybe i feel the loneliness only because i don't feel God enough what if my yearning focus was not on human approval but God's what if i stopped trying to sell myself make people buy into me i'm tired i know what i need to do ...