Skip to main content

If

If

 "If I were
an older man
and met
a younger woman
I would have
just wanted
to be her friend
I wouldn't
have wanted
to ruin her life"
a haze of shock
confusion and hurt
descended upon her
had it all been
a mistake
when they first met
he even told her
she should dance
with the younger guys
and because she didn't
her life was ruined?
if she danced with him
night after night
if his kindness
washed over her
in healing waves
if he told her she wasn't crazy
if he told her
there was nothing wrong with her
if she knew he would never
leave her side
if he called her out
for being
the jackass she was
when she talked about
giving up
throwing all her dreams away
believing the lies
if he fulfilled
every last vow
if he should have
been long gone
but never quit her
if he could always
crack her up
if that wacky humor
still lived on
through the Parkinson's
if she knew
the disease
might take his body
but never touch his love
that none other
could ever match
if that's a ruined life
then she smiles
having seen the truth
they always tried
to hide from her
faces the other
and says
"Thank God he wasn't you."



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Jimmy - 2/1/20

I dreamed of my Jimmy last night.  It was one of those dreams where it was all a mistake.  He hadn't really died.  He was at some nursing home and they were trying to find him for me.  Then in another part of the dream he was running around randomly spraying a hose.  Being that goofy Jimmy that he was.  I was hiding from him, terrified.  Then he popped up in front of me and sprayed some in my face, and I just laughed.  I hugged him hard.  Then in another part of the dream I was lying with him on the floor of the den in my grandparents' house, where sometimes I would just fall asleep in contentment.  I was leaning against my Jimmy.  I could feel myself leaning against him.  Then I woke up and saw I was leaning against the big pillow instead. Wow I love you Jimmy.  Always will.  Never was anyone like you before, nor will there ever be again.  This was not my first "it was all a mistake" dream.  I gu...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pariah

so burnt out looking to socialize i take a few sips of the libation my senses heighten i just listen to the sounds of the room frenetic chatter all around me right next to me within inches of me the drink feels like my only friend that's how i know i'm going into a dark tunnel triggering all the worst in me people jabbering on like robots not talking to let people in but to keep people out like me how different this is from the days i wandered through Demarest Hall at Rutgers vibrations all around were pulling me in urging me to make merry with them with no alcohol in sight just love proliferating.... everyone was welcome everyone was celebrated and then there was tonight the chattering all around me me just sitting there invisible i tried to reach out tried to connect tried to feel like it felt when there was no barrier just acceptance no judgment but they turned away back to the safety of their own whatever that means so i put a stop to it i put my drink on the bar i walked...
Post a Comment
Read more

Jane

There were so many days where Jane was at the top of the world.   The day she hit the solo perfectly in the band competition junior year, down in Myrtle Beach.  One of the cool girls came up to Jane afterwards and said "Way to have grace under pressure!" The day she found out she made the varsity team on cross-country, after lagging behind the pack for so long... Many days at the summer camp, where she was enveloped in hugs, where she heard the sound of her bassoon blending perfectly with the woodwind quintet, when she sat in the CIT lounge with Mike, holding his hand and feeling new tingles all through her body... The night when she snuck the car to drive over fifty miles to see one of Mike's school concerts, then before he left his lips touched hers for the first time, setting her afire... Many days and nights where she roamed the college campus with friends, never having known a full social life before - constant knocks on door, phone ringing, girl...
Post a Comment
Read more