Forest lessons

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself – Well, How did I get here?

“Once In a Lifetime,” Talking Heads

And you may find yourself living in a 1978 Champion motorhome in an RV park in the Washington forest.  And you may find that the family you thought would always be there was gone.  And you may find yourself in a life which makes no sense, in which the train jumped the track long ago and continues to hurtle helter-skelter through the wilderness heading to destinations unknown, leaving behind a family that once was.  

Carla used to wish so badly that train could be stopped, turned around and returned to the life that made sense, in which Carla knew who she was and didn’t have to keep adapting herself anew just to survive..

But now she's glad the train kept on going.  It kept going for reasons she hadn't understood yet.  What she didn't know was that the train was rushing her away away from the pain, loneliness and utter misery.  It was taking her to new worlds of strength, determination and power.  

She used to believe those sayings about how you can choose your friends but not your family.  Bullshit.  You  can choose both.  Because it's not blood that makes family - it's love.  Without it, that blood might just as well be piss. 

Carla sat out there in the woods for a long time with her boys.  They didn't wake to the sound of traffic, horns and road rage.  They woke to the sound of rain drumming on the RV roof and birds chirping through the towering pines.  It was a place where kids roamed around free in nature.  For the first time in his life, Jax had visitors knocking at the door, asking him to come out and play amongst the trees.  Sometimes they'd just stay in out of the rain and watch movies.

Under the healing shelter of the Pacific Northwestern forests, Carla began to regain what had been stolen from her.  She gained strength and wisdom.  She would still make mistakes down the road, sometimes big ones, but they never again made her weaker.  Only stronger.