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Sunday, August 13, 2017

By João Pimentel Ferreira via Wikimedia Commons
Well I was able to get back to my writing project which I started almost two years ago.  I have to be vague about the details right now - I feel like the finished product could be so good that I don't want to spoil the surprise.  I have my son Carl to thank for much of the concept.

It's something that I need to finish.  For me.  Many things that would never be said otherwise.  Many conversations that need to be had.  Even if only in bookland.  I know these things will most likely never be said in real life.  All I need is for them to have been said on paper, either real or virtual..I have been mourning certain things.  And I know that to complete my mourning process, this book needs to be written.  It's been several years in the works already.  It's not something I can rush.  But I do need to finish and move on with my life.

I've been sick and bedridden all weekend long.  I was too weak even to type.  But then I thought to try using the microphone.  Eventually I was able to transcribe all of my written content I've captured in a little notebook over several months.

I had a dream about my grandmother a few nights ago.  After 12 years I finally heard her voice again.  She was talking to me over the phone.  She would have loved Carl so much...

I turn 42 next month - and no I don't mind saying that now.  I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past year is to look at the real reasons I do things.  I see how sometimes I do the right things but for the wrong reasons.  Sometimes I need to stop and think - "Am I doing this because I truly believe this is right?  Because this is the best thing for me?"


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